Perhaps it is because of the history within my family. Perhaps it is because of all of the horrible things I have witnessed the people I love have gone through. Perhaps it is because of my own past.
But it all comes down to selfishness.
Some people claim they “have their reasons.” Some people say they “did it to escape from a poisonous relationship.”
But what truly gets to me is the fact that people actually have the audacity to risk someone’s heart, whether it is someone they care about, someone they cared about, or someone they loved for the most basic of reasons: their own satisfaction.
Some people do have their reasons for doing it, I suppose. An abusive relationship, for example. Fear. But for the people that have no excuses? For the people that knowingly sacrificed a good relationship and the welfare of a good person’s heart for their own cravings, insatiable satisfactions, or whatever else is despicable.
One would think that such one sided unhappiness would result in a more mature or at least less painful ending than the horrid admittance or discovery of something more terrible than a distinct message of “I didn’t love you enough to spare you this much pain.”
Selfishness burns in the essence of humanity. We sin, we make mistakes, but in my personal opinion, going behind someone’s back…. Sneaking behind someone’s heart like this is the worst form of heartbreak. Equivalent to pulling a trigger. Forcing a pure heart into a pit of darkness with the simple selfishness and implanting within it the idea that it is not “good enough.”
I just don’t think I can ever understand how anyone could ever do such a thing and bear such a horrible consciousness afterward.
To know that you are going to hurt someone that badly and continue act, knowing how much pain the action is capable of inflicting is almost inhuman to me. Risking pain for an unpredictable time span for a few minutes of pleasure is the most selfish thing I could think of.